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The Big Idea Essay.

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The Only 3 Pursuits

Love, truth, and power are the only pursuits. They are found together or not at all. And they are located on the Axes of Reality.

When we say we want health, we really want a more unencumbered life to pursue one of these Three (love, truth, power). When we say we want beauty, we merely want to love - and to be loved by - the lovable and lovely.

However, I’ve found no matter how much we get of one of the Three we never get enough to satisfy. And more than that, we are left with holes where the other two belong.

When I prioritize my work, I must spend less energy, attention, and time on something else. So I may sacrifice my family for a little more power, missing out on love. And truthful purpose. And eventually I may realize in my old age, the more power I accrue the further from love and truth I find myself.

And power isn’t maintenance-free. Time kills power quickly.

When I want more love, I must ignore my work and my position to a degree. Love requires attention, time, and sacrifice. And humility. And it’s tough for a humble man to seek power for himself. Pride is the route to power for many of us.

Truth means living a life of honest alignment to our life’s purpose. When I ignore my calling to feed the poor and talk to the elderly, I ignore the truth. I also evict love. And so if my purpose is the Golden Rule - to love others as much as I love myself - then I become a fraud to myself by not helping others.

Truth also isn’t maintenance-free.

And in these three examples above, we begin to see the trade-offs of the Three. The Three - power, truth and love - are holy and good. But we can never get them without giving up something else which is also good.

We all live in this flux. Especially men.

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Tracks

Railroad tracks are parallel so that the train can arrive at its destination safely. It's important that all the railcars, full of families and valued goods, arrive safe and on time. And so when we think about options and values and trade-offs, we think of them like these tracks. Never touching in their purest forms of Truth, Love and Power.

And tracks help us learn. How to grow. How to interact. They confine our mistakes so we can’t hurt ourselves too badly. We call these tracks morals.

But what if I told you there is a single way we can find all Three, without the ugly trade-offs?

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Truth

I was once Chairman of an organization with staff working in 50+ countries. I began to notice cross-cultural themes. Truths in one culture seemed to be mere customs in others. For instance, the idea of a business contract in the West seemed to be merely a starting point for continuous renegotiations when South Asian cultures moved West.

And so, in the throws of my work, I discovered not all truths are accepted as true.

Take for example, gift giving. In the West, we give gifts when we appreciate someone. However, in certain South Asian cultures, gifts are merely the carrot to entice the recipient to reciprocate later on when the stakes are higher. And they bluntly remind you of their gifts months and years later.

No, customs are not true or false. But they represent values. And values point towards what we think is likely true.

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Love

We fall in love. But, to fall in love means to drop out of something else. Ideally, we fall out of ourselves and into another. We stop focusing on ourselves and our wants, and begin to focus on the person we begin to love.

But not all loves are the same. When I speak of love, most people immediately group in sex and lust and likes. Sex is not love. Lust is not love. Likes are not love.

Lust is false love. And when we act falsely, we reject truth. So lust finds itself either (1) as the working against truth or (2) as the desire for sex without love and therefore a seeking of power.

Love is more than a collection of likes. Likes cannot be put together to eventually equate to a unit of love. And so, likes may eventually lead to love. But likes are also an early attraction to power and truth as well. So likes cannot be trusted.

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Power

Most men seek proximity to power as their pathway to it. Most women seek love as their vehicle towards power over others. And in doing both, we find men and women to naturally be headed in opposite directions.

Men unduly believe power will be contracted to them, as a man catches a virus. But power is never given away.

Women erroneously think being loved - by their spouse or their friends - is the pathway to power. Some will first go to victimhood because they suspect pity is a harbinger of love. But others will seek position over others, which is not only unbecoming of a woman but unbecoming of love.

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Story

And everything of value must be wrapped up in a story. The Three - love, power, and truth - each must be shared. And they can only be shared in a story. The Three appear vastly different depending on the story through which they are shared.

So, we must look for higher and better stories if we are to do justice to love. We must seek a stronger narrative and storyline, if we are to best communicate power. And we must certainly the truest possible truth - more than mere facts - if we are to find truth.

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Us

We are actors on the stage of a great story. Our stories are what make us. In fact, we can only live inside a story. Our every action - to love, lust, like - is but a small piece of a grander story.

We are forever fighting off the opposites of the Three. We act like we are pushing away pride, so that we might be praised as humble and get power over others. We cast off the truth with a single lie that we know what’s best for our families. We use lust in place of love.

But our biggest enemy is time. The only way we lose is if the clock runs out before we get the Three. And if we seek the Threes like they are trade-offs, then we become like a dog chasing its tail until it dies. So time must be considered an enemy to be defeated.

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What is the Axes of Reality?

I now offer a grand narrative. This is a visual representation of how a relevant life works. A life which impacts others and the world. The Axes of Reality. The “us” sphere is where we live. We live in a world and history which is contained in a “story”. In fact, there are many stories. The more true the story is, the more it impacts us. Truer stories are deeper stories.

As we move inward - towards The Point - Love grows stronger and more real. Our greatest meaning arrives when we are proximate to Love, enfolded most by a great Story. The more centered the Story, the more powerful the Love. The closer to Truth. And the more centered we become in both Love and Truth. The circles turn to spheres, as we take up greater dimensionality as persons.

This is getting to be a real-life - of love and truth.

In essence, our purpose as men and women, is to look for and commit our lives to the actions which are both most loving (Love) and truest (Truth). And as we live out our purpose - to truthfully love - we become part of a grander story.

But Love and Truth are only two of the axes of our multidimensional reality. Where we find Ultimate Love and Truth, we somehow get Power thrown in. And the Three expel savage Time.

Sentenced for Stealing.

The best sentences I could find for you to steal (but, please credit).

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Video Pick.

Niccolo Machiavelli provides insights into power, conquering kingdoms, and running through enemies.

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